A lost soul

10.30pm, 12 July 2009

Being third year now means being super senior to first year juniors but it also means losing seniors.

The upper batch of seniors was so supportive, inspiring, heart-warming... They were like the warm shining sun and we were like the newly budding flowers.

Remembering all those events that hold us together tight.

Last time, we were in team. A team which makes me feels like a family.Our drum team. Real proud of it.

Our high spirits.
Our lost-minded actions.
Our belly laughs.
Our nervous tensions.
Our attentions raising shouts.

My liking in celebrate people's birthday, especially making surprises to them. Everytime there's a celebration, we discussed and planned for it. Today is my great partner's birthday but i can found no one to discuss on it.Texted seniors, batchmates and juniors who are still here but all were busy with their own things now. Not much of encouraging response on it. Heart-rending due to unable to prepare everything in such a short time without you all. No more excitement on preparing. Until this moment, i realized the missing of you all and deeply felt helpless. Lack of people joining leaded to postponement of celebration.

I wonder when i am going to put on a plan again for the postponed event.

Lost of courage of texting everyone.
Feel scare of getting no one to join again.
Unwilling to bear another disappointment.

Sense of lost...

Raised my memory of losing beloved grandpa and grandma.
Raised my memory of losing heart-connected Bibi.
Raised my memory of losing precious things.

What a day for me to feel real lost.